I am so excited that a dear former student of mine is getting married, that I thought I would share with you some advice I gave to them.
I found this list at a friend's house many years ago. I read over the list each morning, and whichever one catches my attention, I try to do it that day. My marriage is great, and this list has helped us.
Here's the list. Try it yourself, and start making a happier marriage-and a healthier country.
1) Pray for your mate each day.
2) Express appreciation for each other.
3) Show respect for each other.
4) Do small favors.
5) Pray together.
6) Have fun together.
7) Develop mutual interests.
8) Forgive each other daily.
9) Listen to each other.
10) Smile at each other.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Ephesians chapter 5
Today I learned that a dear former student of mine will get married this year. I hope we can attend the wedding. My wife and I have been married for 11 wonderful years. At our wedding, we read the following scripture from Ephesians chapter 5: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." I trust most adults reading this letter have heard this scripture at a wedding, and have heard it expounded upon, perhaps with great enthusiasm. I will not expound upon it here, because I want to go on to the next verse, which was also read at our wedding. It says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". I wonder, How many times has this verse been read and preached upon at weddings with equal enthusiasm?
How did Christ love his church? I am Catholic, and when I attend Mater Dolorosa I get my answer when I walk in the door and look at the front of the church: Jesus went willingly to the cross and died for his beloved church. He sacrificed himself, so that his church would come to life.
This is what husbands are called to do. And paradoxically, just as Jesus rose from the dead after his crucifixion, so will we men, and our marriages, and our children, spring to unexpected new life when we willingly surrender ourselves for our wives' good. I am not a perfect husband, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do know that when I sacrifice for my wife, new life springs forth.
Examples:
I love soccer, and have a number of matches on video. I could happily watch match after match in the evenings. Instead, I leave those videos on the shelf to talk and play with the family. This brings us emotionally closer to each other. Again, a (small) sacrifice on my part makes my wife, my children, and myself prosper.
We live in the country, and a Saturday trip to Mbabane presents me with the chance to get a lot of things done. If I take some of my children, I will get much less accomplished and I won't get to do all the things I'd like to. But if I do take them with me, they have a marvelous time, and my wife gets a break at home. When I make that sacrifice, my spouse and my children are happier-and they radiate that happiness back onto me. A sacrifice from me brings greater joy and life to all.
After the birth of our fourth child, I asked my wife what more I could do to support her now that she had additional responsibilities. She said that in the evening, when it was time to cook, the baby was often fussy and she get frustrated under the pressure of cooking dinner coupled with the demands of a crying baby. I said that I could cook dinner, and have done that for the last two years. My wife can take care of our children or have some time to herself after a very busy day. When dinner is served, she is rested and happy, not frustrated and irritable.
If the soon-to-be husband of my former student loves his bride as Christ loved his church, he too will experience the life and happiness that springs from small sacrifices. I will encourage him to do so.
This space usually discusses pro-life issues, specifically ending abortion. Were men to love their wives and girlfriends as Christ loved his church, I suggest that the desire for and number of abortions would fall nearly to zero. This is so because a boyfriend would save sex with the one he loves until marriage-that is respecting and sacrificing for her; and a wife who unexpectedly found herself pregnant would reflect on all the loving sacrifices her husband had made for her, and know that he would continue to do so to provide for this new one. Abortion would drown in a sea of loving sacrifice. Let us build a culture of love and life; let us men take the lead in sacrificial loving action.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
How did Christ love his church? I am Catholic, and when I attend Mater Dolorosa I get my answer when I walk in the door and look at the front of the church: Jesus went willingly to the cross and died for his beloved church. He sacrificed himself, so that his church would come to life.
This is what husbands are called to do. And paradoxically, just as Jesus rose from the dead after his crucifixion, so will we men, and our marriages, and our children, spring to unexpected new life when we willingly surrender ourselves for our wives' good. I am not a perfect husband, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do know that when I sacrifice for my wife, new life springs forth.
Examples:
I love soccer, and have a number of matches on video. I could happily watch match after match in the evenings. Instead, I leave those videos on the shelf to talk and play with the family. This brings us emotionally closer to each other. Again, a (small) sacrifice on my part makes my wife, my children, and myself prosper.
We live in the country, and a Saturday trip to Mbabane presents me with the chance to get a lot of things done. If I take some of my children, I will get much less accomplished and I won't get to do all the things I'd like to. But if I do take them with me, they have a marvelous time, and my wife gets a break at home. When I make that sacrifice, my spouse and my children are happier-and they radiate that happiness back onto me. A sacrifice from me brings greater joy and life to all.
After the birth of our fourth child, I asked my wife what more I could do to support her now that she had additional responsibilities. She said that in the evening, when it was time to cook, the baby was often fussy and she get frustrated under the pressure of cooking dinner coupled with the demands of a crying baby. I said that I could cook dinner, and have done that for the last two years. My wife can take care of our children or have some time to herself after a very busy day. When dinner is served, she is rested and happy, not frustrated and irritable.
If the soon-to-be husband of my former student loves his bride as Christ loved his church, he too will experience the life and happiness that springs from small sacrifices. I will encourage him to do so.
This space usually discusses pro-life issues, specifically ending abortion. Were men to love their wives and girlfriends as Christ loved his church, I suggest that the desire for and number of abortions would fall nearly to zero. This is so because a boyfriend would save sex with the one he loves until marriage-that is respecting and sacrificing for her; and a wife who unexpectedly found herself pregnant would reflect on all the loving sacrifices her husband had made for her, and know that he would continue to do so to provide for this new one. Abortion would drown in a sea of loving sacrifice. Let us build a culture of love and life; let us men take the lead in sacrificial loving action.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Fetal Pain
We all know children feel pain more acutely than adults. Parents know the experience of treating a child's mildly scraped knees as if, judging by the tears and shouts of our little ones, they were life-threatening injuries. How far back in life does the ability to experience pain reach? And what bearing does this have on the abortion issue?
Nurse Barbara Willke and her husband, Dr. John Willke, explain that unborn humans feel pain from 8 weeks after conception. They write: "What is needed is 1) a sensory nerve to feel the pain and send a message to 2) the thalamus, a part of the base of the brain, and 3) motor nerves to send a message to that area. These are present at 8 weeks." Referencing a 1980 British Medical Journal article entitled "What the fetus feels", the Willke's continue: "Try sticking an 8 week old fetus in the palm of his hand. He opens his mouth and pulls his hand away. A more technical description would add that changes in heart rate and fetal movement also suggest that intrauterine manipulations are painful to the fetus." Naturally, ability to feel pain continues for the rest of a child's time in the womb and into post-birth life.
Concern that children not suffer unjust pain features more and more prominently in Swaziland's public discussions. Let us take one step to ensure children do not suffer unjust pain and punishment by making sure no child experiences the excruciating and inescapable pain of a life-ending abortion. No to abortion; yes to life.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Nurse Barbara Willke and her husband, Dr. John Willke, explain that unborn humans feel pain from 8 weeks after conception. They write: "What is needed is 1) a sensory nerve to feel the pain and send a message to 2) the thalamus, a part of the base of the brain, and 3) motor nerves to send a message to that area. These are present at 8 weeks." Referencing a 1980 British Medical Journal article entitled "What the fetus feels", the Willke's continue: "Try sticking an 8 week old fetus in the palm of his hand. He opens his mouth and pulls his hand away. A more technical description would add that changes in heart rate and fetal movement also suggest that intrauterine manipulations are painful to the fetus." Naturally, ability to feel pain continues for the rest of a child's time in the womb and into post-birth life.
Concern that children not suffer unjust pain features more and more prominently in Swaziland's public discussions. Let us take one step to ensure children do not suffer unjust pain and punishment by making sure no child experiences the excruciating and inescapable pain of a life-ending abortion. No to abortion; yes to life.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Easter
"I just have no words to describe what I went through when I woke up from the anaesthetic [after the abortion]. I cry as I write this. I wanted to slice myself up, to get a gun and blow my head off."
"I was in shock for two weeks after the abortion. I didn't talk about it and carried on life as normally as I could. But the veil of denial lifted and I sobbed uncontrollably for days...For five years after, I continued to have periods of sobbing that lasted hours."
"On returning home from the hospital [after the abortion], I could not stop crying. For three days I felt if I killed myself I could catch up with my baby and have it back."
So speak many women after their abortions. These and other mothers suffer deep and long-lasting regret from ending the lives of their babies. In this Easter season, however, there is hope. Consider this woman's testimony.
"When I was so ill with depression and guilt [after my abortion] I was continually confronted with one particular scripture: 'And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.' (Romans 8:28) I had a difficult time believing that this colud apply to something as destructive and devastating as my abortion. After all, my baby had died and I was completely shattered, unable to function in a normal manner...[Eventually] God began to patiently show me how this scripture could be fulfilled in my life. First, I began to recognize that the pain I was experiencing had given me insights on suffering, sin, and forgiveness. It also gave me a great desire to live in obedience to God; in fact, my depression was the catalyst for both myself and my husband to come to know the Lord...I do not want to be misunderstood. I am not thankful I had an abortion. But I am extremely grateful that God has used such a tragedy to bring me to Him and to teach me. I am very grateful that He has used this to ultimately make me a stronger person..."
In this Easter season, let us remember that God turned the unjust and cruel death of Christ into a glorious resurrection three days later. He can also relieve and reverse the sorrow of abortion. God turned the pain and death of Good Friday into the everlasting joy of Easter Sunday. God invites all women who suffer from grief from their abortions into his forgiveness and healing. Turn to him for healing, hope, and wholeness.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
"I was in shock for two weeks after the abortion. I didn't talk about it and carried on life as normally as I could. But the veil of denial lifted and I sobbed uncontrollably for days...For five years after, I continued to have periods of sobbing that lasted hours."
"On returning home from the hospital [after the abortion], I could not stop crying. For three days I felt if I killed myself I could catch up with my baby and have it back."
So speak many women after their abortions. These and other mothers suffer deep and long-lasting regret from ending the lives of their babies. In this Easter season, however, there is hope. Consider this woman's testimony.
"When I was so ill with depression and guilt [after my abortion] I was continually confronted with one particular scripture: 'And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.' (Romans 8:28) I had a difficult time believing that this colud apply to something as destructive and devastating as my abortion. After all, my baby had died and I was completely shattered, unable to function in a normal manner...[Eventually] God began to patiently show me how this scripture could be fulfilled in my life. First, I began to recognize that the pain I was experiencing had given me insights on suffering, sin, and forgiveness. It also gave me a great desire to live in obedience to God; in fact, my depression was the catalyst for both myself and my husband to come to know the Lord...I do not want to be misunderstood. I am not thankful I had an abortion. But I am extremely grateful that God has used such a tragedy to bring me to Him and to teach me. I am very grateful that He has used this to ultimately make me a stronger person..."
In this Easter season, let us remember that God turned the unjust and cruel death of Christ into a glorious resurrection three days later. He can also relieve and reverse the sorrow of abortion. God turned the pain and death of Good Friday into the everlasting joy of Easter Sunday. God invites all women who suffer from grief from their abortions into his forgiveness and healing. Turn to him for healing, hope, and wholeness.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A Consistent Ethic of Life
Some might wonder, "Poglitsh, don't you think our world has problems other than abortion? Consider war, hunger, disease, poverty, lack of clean water, lack of education opportunities, sex discrimination, racism, lack of good housing, etc. Don't these things matter?"
Absolutely they do. Joseph Cardinal Bernardin, a Roman Catholic prelate, worked tirelessly on numerous issues of human suffering. He popularized the term "consistent ethic of life", a term meaning that human life ought to be respected at all stages and in all circumstances. Before his death from cancer in November 1996, Bernardin addressed the threats of modern warfare to human life, opposed the death penalty, spoke against violence in the middle East and Ireland, dedicated a facility to the care of AIDS victims, participated in an anti-pornography group, and as cancer began to affect his own life, began a ministry to cancer victims. Cardinal Bernardin valued human life, and acted to promote human advancement against all manner of insults.
Here is what the Cardinal said in 1989: "Not all values, however, are of equal weight. Some are more fundamental than others. On this Respect Life Sunday, I wish to emphasize that no earthly value is more fundamental than human life itself. Human life is the condition for enjoying freedom and all other values. Consequently, if one must choose between protecting or serving lesser human values that depend upon life for their existence and life itself, human life must take precedence."
We need not, and should not, promote one human good and ignore others. Let us advance human development in all its aspects, beginning with protecting the right to life. With the right to life secure, we can work for human betterment in all other areas.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Absolutely they do. Joseph Cardinal Bernardin, a Roman Catholic prelate, worked tirelessly on numerous issues of human suffering. He popularized the term "consistent ethic of life", a term meaning that human life ought to be respected at all stages and in all circumstances. Before his death from cancer in November 1996, Bernardin addressed the threats of modern warfare to human life, opposed the death penalty, spoke against violence in the middle East and Ireland, dedicated a facility to the care of AIDS victims, participated in an anti-pornography group, and as cancer began to affect his own life, began a ministry to cancer victims. Cardinal Bernardin valued human life, and acted to promote human advancement against all manner of insults.
Here is what the Cardinal said in 1989: "Not all values, however, are of equal weight. Some are more fundamental than others. On this Respect Life Sunday, I wish to emphasize that no earthly value is more fundamental than human life itself. Human life is the condition for enjoying freedom and all other values. Consequently, if one must choose between protecting or serving lesser human values that depend upon life for their existence and life itself, human life must take precedence."
We need not, and should not, promote one human good and ignore others. Let us advance human development in all its aspects, beginning with protecting the right to life. With the right to life secure, we can work for human betterment in all other areas.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Abortion's Lethal Logic
Blob of tissue; products of conception; clump of cells. Abortion advocacy applies such phrases to make abortion seem to be less than the killing of a human being. Much of the modern Western world has accepted these dehumanizing terms and consequently legalized abortion.
When the United States legalized abortion in the early 1970s, parents knew little about the status and development of the unborn. Since that time, medical research has shown that a newly-conceived human being is far more complex-and human-than a "blob of tissue".
The problem is, abortion is an entrenched cultural dynamic in the western world even as science continually reaffirms the humanity of the unborn. How can societies which have legitimized abortion continue the practice when those societies know those unborn entities are no mere "clumps of cells"?
The latest rhetorical technique is to say that born infants are not persons in the way that you, Mr. or Ms. Reader, are, and thus may be legitimately killed, even after birth.
Authors Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva recently published a paper entitled "After-birth abortion: Why should the baby live?” in the London-based Journal of Medical Ethics. Consider these quotes from their paper: "Both a fetus and a newborn certainly are human beings and potential persons, but neither is a 'person' in the sense of 'subject of a moral right to life.' " "The moral status of an infant is equivalent to that of a fetus in the sense that both lack those properties that justify the attribution of a right to life to an individual." The authors conclude this way: "what we call ‘after-birth abortion’ (killing a newborn) should be permissible in all the cases where abortion is [permissible], including cases where the newborn is not disabled”.
In countries where a child can be aborted at any time during the pregnancy-and such countries do exist-their conclusion means that any infant could be killed for any reason after birth.
Two observations are in order: 1) Though the thought of killing born babies should make all sane, decent people shudder, the logic of these authors is flawless. If it is legitimate to kill someone who is unborn, why is it not legitimate to kill them after they are born? Why should a child's right to life begin at birth? It is only a change of location-a change of only a few centimetres-which differentiates between a child which, under the laws of so many countries, may be legally killed, from a child which may not be legally killed. Why should a few centimetres matter?
2) The right to kill a person has moved from the womb to the outside world. The authors assert that it is “not possible to damage a newborn by preventing her from developing the potentiality to become a person in the morally relevant sense”. This very confusing sentence means that being a "person in the morally relevant sense" is now the criteria for a right not to be killed. Who will decide who is "morally relevant"? What traits must an individual possess to qualify as "morally relevant"? Should the "moral relevance" argument win the day, everyone under the official or practical power of the "experts" is in mortal danger-because the "experts" may draw up any arbitrary set of standards to decide who is relevant, and those who fall outside those standards will become expendable.
Our only protection against a death sentence from an "expert" is to protect all human life. Let public opinion follow science: human life begins at conception. Let behaviour follow biological fact: human conception begins with sexual activity. Let sex be saved for marriage so that all new human life enters the world in the context of love and life-long committment.
Article at
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9113394/Killing-babies-no-different-from-abortion-experts-say.html#.T1BQUf8_LUs.mailto
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
When the United States legalized abortion in the early 1970s, parents knew little about the status and development of the unborn. Since that time, medical research has shown that a newly-conceived human being is far more complex-and human-than a "blob of tissue".
The problem is, abortion is an entrenched cultural dynamic in the western world even as science continually reaffirms the humanity of the unborn. How can societies which have legitimized abortion continue the practice when those societies know those unborn entities are no mere "clumps of cells"?
The latest rhetorical technique is to say that born infants are not persons in the way that you, Mr. or Ms. Reader, are, and thus may be legitimately killed, even after birth.
Authors Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva recently published a paper entitled "After-birth abortion: Why should the baby live?” in the London-based Journal of Medical Ethics. Consider these quotes from their paper: "Both a fetus and a newborn certainly are human beings and potential persons, but neither is a 'person' in the sense of 'subject of a moral right to life.' " "The moral status of an infant is equivalent to that of a fetus in the sense that both lack those properties that justify the attribution of a right to life to an individual." The authors conclude this way: "what we call ‘after-birth abortion’ (killing a newborn) should be permissible in all the cases where abortion is [permissible], including cases where the newborn is not disabled”.
In countries where a child can be aborted at any time during the pregnancy-and such countries do exist-their conclusion means that any infant could be killed for any reason after birth.
Two observations are in order: 1) Though the thought of killing born babies should make all sane, decent people shudder, the logic of these authors is flawless. If it is legitimate to kill someone who is unborn, why is it not legitimate to kill them after they are born? Why should a child's right to life begin at birth? It is only a change of location-a change of only a few centimetres-which differentiates between a child which, under the laws of so many countries, may be legally killed, from a child which may not be legally killed. Why should a few centimetres matter?
2) The right to kill a person has moved from the womb to the outside world. The authors assert that it is “not possible to damage a newborn by preventing her from developing the potentiality to become a person in the morally relevant sense”. This very confusing sentence means that being a "person in the morally relevant sense" is now the criteria for a right not to be killed. Who will decide who is "morally relevant"? What traits must an individual possess to qualify as "morally relevant"? Should the "moral relevance" argument win the day, everyone under the official or practical power of the "experts" is in mortal danger-because the "experts" may draw up any arbitrary set of standards to decide who is relevant, and those who fall outside those standards will become expendable.
Our only protection against a death sentence from an "expert" is to protect all human life. Let public opinion follow science: human life begins at conception. Let behaviour follow biological fact: human conception begins with sexual activity. Let sex be saved for marriage so that all new human life enters the world in the context of love and life-long committment.
Article at
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9113394/Killing-babies-no-different-from-abortion-experts-say.html#.T1BQUf8_LUs.mailto
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Safest Sex
The reproductive health section of Friday's Times of Swaziland spoke about safer sex. It explained that improper planning for safer sex can cause embarrassing or even life-changing events, and went on to describe recent advances in and continuing challenges to preventing HIV transmission.
Without ignoring the plight of the HIV-positive, let's also help the younger generations by promoting Safest Sex: no sex until marriage, and sex only with husband or wife after marriage. Safest sex requires neither devices nor technical training: just coaching and self-discipline to avoid sex before marriage, and sound support from peers and elders during courtship and marriage. A man and a woman who save sex for their wedding night can look forward to decades of disease-free, joy-filled sexual pleasure with each other. Trading a few years of character-building abstinence for 20, 30, or 40 years of no-technology, worry-free, mutually-satisfying, relationship-building, and extremely-safe sex is a very good bargain. It is the safest bargain. It is Safest Sex.
Away with pre- and extra-marital sex and all their negative effects (disease, broken hearts, broken marriages, abortions); up with Safest Sex and all its positive effects (self-control, faithfulness, health, joy, love). Individuals, couples, families, and the nation will benefit.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
Without ignoring the plight of the HIV-positive, let's also help the younger generations by promoting Safest Sex: no sex until marriage, and sex only with husband or wife after marriage. Safest sex requires neither devices nor technical training: just coaching and self-discipline to avoid sex before marriage, and sound support from peers and elders during courtship and marriage. A man and a woman who save sex for their wedding night can look forward to decades of disease-free, joy-filled sexual pleasure with each other. Trading a few years of character-building abstinence for 20, 30, or 40 years of no-technology, worry-free, mutually-satisfying, relationship-building, and extremely-safe sex is a very good bargain. It is the safest bargain. It is Safest Sex.
Away with pre- and extra-marital sex and all their negative effects (disease, broken hearts, broken marriages, abortions); up with Safest Sex and all its positive effects (self-control, faithfulness, health, joy, love). Individuals, couples, families, and the nation will benefit.
Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com
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