Ephesians chapter 5

Today I learned that a dear former student of mine will get married this year. I hope we can attend the wedding. My wife and I have been married for 11 wonderful years. At our wedding, we read the following scripture from Ephesians chapter 5: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." I trust most adults reading this letter have heard this scripture at a wedding, and have heard it expounded upon, perhaps with great enthusiasm. I will not expound upon it here, because I want to go on to the next verse, which was also read at our wedding. It says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". I wonder, How many times has this verse been read and preached upon at weddings with equal enthusiasm?

How did Christ love his church? I am Catholic, and when I attend Mater Dolorosa I get my answer when I walk in the door and look at the front of the church: Jesus went willingly to the cross and died for his beloved church. He sacrificed himself, so that his church would come to life.

This is what husbands are called to do. And paradoxically, just as Jesus rose from the dead after his crucifixion, so will we men, and our marriages, and our children, spring to unexpected new life when we willingly surrender ourselves for our wives' good. I am not a perfect husband, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do know that when I sacrifice for my wife, new life springs forth.

Examples:

I love soccer, and have a number of matches on video. I could happily watch match after match in the evenings. Instead, I leave those videos on the shelf to talk and play with the family. This brings us emotionally closer to each other. Again, a (small) sacrifice on my part makes my wife, my children, and myself prosper.

We live in the country, and a Saturday trip to Mbabane presents me with the chance to get a lot of things done. If I take some of my children, I will get much less accomplished and I won't get to do all the things I'd like to. But if I do take them with me, they have a marvelous time, and my wife gets a break at home. When I make that sacrifice, my spouse and my children are happier-and they radiate that happiness back onto me. A sacrifice from me brings greater joy and life to all.

After the birth of our fourth child, I asked my wife what  more I could do to support her now that she had additional responsibilities.  She said that in the evening, when it was time to cook,  the baby was often fussy and she get frustrated under the pressure of cooking dinner coupled with the demands of a crying baby. I said that I could cook dinner, and have done that for the last two years.  My wife can take care of our children or have some time to herself  after a very busy day.  When dinner is served, she is rested and happy, not frustrated and irritable.

If the soon-to-be husband of my former student loves his bride as Christ loved his church, he too will experience the life and happiness that springs from small sacrifices. I will encourage him to do so.

This space usually discusses pro-life issues, specifically ending abortion. Were men to love their wives and girlfriends as Christ loved his church, I suggest that the desire for and number of abortions would fall nearly to zero. This is so because a boyfriend would save sex with the one he loves until marriage-that is respecting and sacrificing for her; and a wife who unexpectedly found herself pregnant would reflect on all the loving sacrifices her husband had made for her, and know that he would continue to do so to provide for this new one. Abortion would drown in a sea of loving sacrifice. Let us build a culture of love and life; let us men take the lead in sacrificial loving action.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com