Ephesians chapter 5

Today I learned that a dear former student of mine will get married this year. I hope we can attend the wedding. My wife and I have been married for 11 wonderful years. At our wedding, we read the following scripture from Ephesians chapter 5: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." I trust most adults reading this letter have heard this scripture at a wedding, and have heard it expounded upon, perhaps with great enthusiasm. I will not expound upon it here, because I want to go on to the next verse, which was also read at our wedding. It says, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". I wonder, How many times has this verse been read and preached upon at weddings with equal enthusiasm?

How did Christ love his church? I am Catholic, and when I attend Mater Dolorosa I get my answer when I walk in the door and look at the front of the church: Jesus went willingly to the cross and died for his beloved church. He sacrificed himself, so that his church would come to life.

This is what husbands are called to do. And paradoxically, just as Jesus rose from the dead after his crucifixion, so will we men, and our marriages, and our children, spring to unexpected new life when we willingly surrender ourselves for our wives' good. I am not a perfect husband, by any stretch of the imagination. But I do know that when I sacrifice for my wife, new life springs forth.

Examples:

I love soccer, and have a number of matches on video. I could happily watch match after match in the evenings. Instead, I leave those videos on the shelf to talk and play with the family. This brings us emotionally closer to each other. Again, a (small) sacrifice on my part makes my wife, my children, and myself prosper.

We live in the country, and a Saturday trip to Mbabane presents me with the chance to get a lot of things done. If I take some of my children, I will get much less accomplished and I won't get to do all the things I'd like to. But if I do take them with me, they have a marvelous time, and my wife gets a break at home. When I make that sacrifice, my spouse and my children are happier-and they radiate that happiness back onto me. A sacrifice from me brings greater joy and life to all.

After the birth of our fourth child, I asked my wife what  more I could do to support her now that she had additional responsibilities.  She said that in the evening, when it was time to cook,  the baby was often fussy and she get frustrated under the pressure of cooking dinner coupled with the demands of a crying baby. I said that I could cook dinner, and have done that for the last two years.  My wife can take care of our children or have some time to herself  after a very busy day.  When dinner is served, she is rested and happy, not frustrated and irritable.

If the soon-to-be husband of my former student loves his bride as Christ loved his church, he too will experience the life and happiness that springs from small sacrifices. I will encourage him to do so.

This space usually discusses pro-life issues, specifically ending abortion. Were men to love their wives and girlfriends as Christ loved his church, I suggest that the desire for and number of abortions would fall nearly to zero. This is so because a boyfriend would save sex with the one he loves until marriage-that is respecting and sacrificing for her; and a wife who unexpectedly found herself pregnant would reflect on all the loving sacrifices her husband had made for her, and know that he would continue to do so to provide for this new one. Abortion would drown in a sea of loving sacrifice. Let us build a culture of love and life; let us men take the lead in sacrificial loving action.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com

Fetal Pain

We all know children feel pain more acutely than adults. Parents know the experience of treating a child's mildly scraped knees as if, judging by the tears and shouts of our little ones, they were life-threatening injuries. How far back in life does the ability to experience pain reach? And what bearing does this have on the abortion issue?

Nurse Barbara Willke and her husband, Dr. John Willke, explain that unborn humans feel pain from 8 weeks after conception. They write: "What is needed is 1) a sensory nerve to feel the pain and send a message to 2) the thalamus, a part of the base of the brain, and 3) motor nerves to send a message to that area. These are present at 8 weeks." Referencing a 1980 British Medical Journal article entitled "What the fetus feels", the Willke's continue: "Try sticking an 8 week old fetus in the palm of his hand. He opens his mouth and pulls his hand away. A more technical description would add that changes in heart rate and fetal movement also suggest that intrauterine manipulations are painful to the fetus." Naturally, ability to feel pain continues for the rest of a child's time in the womb and into post-birth life.

Concern that children not suffer unjust pain features more and more prominently in Swaziland's public discussions. Let us take one step to ensure children do not suffer unjust pain and punishment by making sure no child experiences the excruciating and inescapable pain of a life-ending abortion. No to abortion; yes to life.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com

Easter

"I just have no words to describe what I went through when I woke up from the anaesthetic [after the abortion]. I cry as I write this. I wanted to slice myself up, to get a gun and blow my head off."

"I was in shock for two weeks after the abortion. I didn't talk about it and carried on life as normally as I could. But the veil of denial lifted and I sobbed uncontrollably for days...For five years after, I continued to have periods of sobbing that lasted hours."

"On returning home from the hospital [after the abortion], I could not stop crying. For three days I felt if I killed myself I could catch up with my baby and have it back."

So speak many women after their abortions. These and other mothers suffer deep and long-lasting regret from ending the lives of their babies. In this Easter season, however, there is hope. Consider this woman's testimony.

"When I was so ill with depression and guilt [after my abortion] I was continually confronted with one particular scripture: 'And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.' (Romans 8:28) I had a difficult time believing that this colud apply to something as destructive and devastating as my abortion. After all, my baby had died and I was completely shattered, unable to function in a normal manner...[Eventually] God began to patiently show me how this scripture could be fulfilled in my life. First, I began to recognize that the pain I was experiencing had given me insights on suffering, sin, and forgiveness. It also gave me a great desire to live in obedience to God; in fact, my depression was the catalyst for both myself and my husband to come to know the Lord...I do not want to be misunderstood. I am not thankful I had an abortion. But I am extremely grateful that God has used such a tragedy to bring me to Him and to teach me. I am very grateful that He has used this to ultimately make me a stronger person..."

In this Easter season, let us remember that God turned the unjust and cruel death of Christ into a glorious resurrection three days later. He can also relieve and reverse the sorrow of abortion. God turned the pain and death of Good Friday into the everlasting joy of Easter Sunday. God invites all women who suffer from grief from their abortions into his forgiveness and healing. Turn to him for healing, hope, and wholeness.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com