Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Response to Single Lilly



Single Lilly's important piece ("Teenage Abortion: Why It's Not So Bad") helps explain why societies support abortion and why friends and family either "gently encourage" or forcibly push women into abortion.

Her closing paragraph reads "They [women who choose abortion], very kindly-and potentially at great risk to their lives-make what could be a problem for us all simply vanish. Personally, I don't particularly enjoy the sight of unhappy, malnourished children". Lilly clearly expresses a chilling vision of human relationships we are all tempted to indulge: "I don't care if you murder others or damage yourself, as long as those lethal actions keep me from having to deal with your problems." What are these "problems?" They are weak human beings-the young, the old, the sick, the disabled, the poor, even the depressed-who might bother us with their troubles or demands.

Consider this parable. Once upon a time a man saw a vision of hell. In it he saw a beautiful banquet table loaded with food. The guests sitting around the table had very long forearms, however, so that none of them could feed themselves. There were shouts, anger, and cursing as everyone tried to spoon up the delicious food only to find they could get it nowhere near their mouths. Then the man saw a second vision, this one of heaven. In heaven he saw the same banquet table and guests similarly deformed. In heaven, however, everyone took the food in their hands and carefully fed their neighbors until all were satisfied.

We can selfishly focus on our own needs while resenting the needs and demands of others; in doing so we create hell on earth. In the 1930's the United States suffered a great economic collapse which became known as the Great Depression. Several decades later a man named Studs Terkel interviewed hundreds of people who had lived through that time. He compiled his interviews into a fascinating book entitled "Hard Times". Terkel found that some people looked back upon those years with nostalgia saying things like, "It was so wonderful, everyone pulled together and helped each other through." Others looked back with horror, saying how awful it was and how people selfishly grabbed everything that they could get with no consideration of others. The challenge of the situation created opportunities for individuals and communities to grow in selfishness or to grow in love. Heaven or Hell.

Swaziland faces a similar challenge right now, and the same choice lies before all of us. When confronted with the needs of the weak and needy, are we going to wish that they would simply vanish, or hope that other people will do us a favor and make them vanish? When our family members, friends, and neighbors come to us with their needs, will our response show that we care and will do what we can to help them? I know a gogo who, several years back, was barely surviving. She took in, fed, and cared for a child who had fled his homestead because of an abusive second wife who didn't want to share food with him. The gogo and her grandson showed love because they believed that Jesus was giving them an opportunity in this boy to show love to God himself. Heaven or Hell--which one will we create here?

I hope that Single Lilly discovers the happy surprise that God fills the universe and our everyday actions with meaning and eternal significance, that Christ is present in the needs of others, and that in the adventure of love no one's life need be "dolorously boring".

Saturday, June 18, 2011

What is best for the children?

This space has discussed the evils of abortion. But what about after birth? Children need love and training in addition to their right to life.

A good friend of mine named Steve Wood directs a Christian faith and family organization. Previous to his current job he worked with youth in a church. That job taught him that the key to children growing up in the faith and growing up well is the parents; specifically, the health of their marriage and their faith life were crucial in determining how the kids grew up and how they fared later in life. He says the following: "Covenant faithfulness in marriage-that is staying married-is the single most important key to parenting children and teens. In other words, stay married. That's it. You don't have to worry about 100 things. This is the one thing to focus on. Without this, you can go through every category of a child's well-being from psychological, educational, probability of drugs and alcohol, premarital sex, getting in trouble with the law and everything else, it's associated with homes where fathers aren't present. And homes with fathers who aren't present are a result of a broken marriage. Fathers don't leave their children in America by the millions because they get tired of playing ball with them in the yard. The reason fathers by the millions in America are separated from their children is because the marriage has broken. For men, marriage and fatherhood are a package deal. If the marriage goes, the fatherhood influence declines. After a decade, most kids just don't even see their fathers anymore after a divorce. So it's very critical that marriages are held together for the sake of the children, for their welfare."

After the gift of life, children need the gift of a mom and a dad living a happy marriage together. The best thing a father can do for his children is love his wife; and the best thing a mother can do for her children is love her husband. To put children first, may husbands and wives stay married and make the health of their marriage top priority. They, their children, and their grandchildren will benefit.

Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Two Birds with One Stone

Surveys consistently report ( http://www.ptm.org/01PT/JulAug/revenge.htm) that couples who saved sex until marriage and remain faithful within marriage enjoy the highest levels of sexual satisfaction. Remember that saving sex until marriage and sexual fidelity within marriage would slash the HIV rate almost to zero.

We have before us a two-fold golden opportunity. For those men and women who do not care if they early; who do not care if they leave widows, widowers, and orphans; who do not care if the bogogo have to rear larger and larger numbers of orphans at a time of shrinking financial resources; for those men and women who care only about good sex, there is an answer: save sex for marriage, get married, and keep sex between you and your spouse only, because couples who do that have the best sex. If this plan were followed, sexual (and marital) satisfaction would skyrocket, and the AIDS rate would plummet. Maybe this should be the next anti-AIDS approach: "Want good sex and plenty of it? Save it for marriage only". Everyone would benefit.


Rudy Poglitsh
rpoglitsh@live.com
more letters at http://letterstotheTOS.blogspot.com